


tremor

by fishysama



Series: goretober 2020!!! [15]
Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood and Injury, Cutting, Goretober, Goretober 2020, Guro, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Indulgent, aha 😶😶, i am a whore 😃 dumb whore, if you squint 😶
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishysama/pseuds/fishysama
Summary: goretober day 15: slicedyea fuck it dsgfrth misaki cuts himself
Relationships: Takahashi Misaki/Usami Akihiko
Series: goretober 2020!!! [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950796
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	tremor

**Author's Note:**

> big trigger warning obviously bc ik y'all like to not read tags. psa: read tags! i write gore y'all should know this by now smhsmh
> 
> also im not suicidal or depressed (anymore) so don't start w that shit lmao if y'all don't know that i [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] to it by now 😶 open ya eyes

He doesn’t know why he did it. It could have made sense if he had a reason for it, but there was none. It was a simple, sudden urge, one he acted upon without giving a second thought to it. There was barely a first thought, after all. It was all action: lying in bed, some synapse misfiring, walking downstairs, taking the paring knife out of its wooden block, walking back upstairs, rolling up his sleeve.

He wishes he had a reason, crying without feeling sad, holding the knife above his wrist. He wishes, almost, that this action translated to depression, suicidal ideation. Something that made sense. People don’t empathize with you if you cut yourself just to see the skin break. Just to feel the metal bite your flesh.

No more fantasizing. He chews his lip and brings the knife down and across, a plain slash darting along his forearm. He twists his leg, a tremor of pain running up his spine, culminating in a warm gasp, a whine behind bit lips. At the first sight of red, Misaki’s tears stop. He watches the cut, mouth loosely hanging open. It’s shock. It’s awe. He did it.

The blood comes first in beads: two in the middle, then one on the left edge, dripping down his arm as he turns it to the side. He watches the trail it makes: a warm, red blob painting his skin with gravity. The droplet falls to his bedsheets, cream turning wine. He doesn’t want to think about cleaning it.

In the cut itself, blood pools, the pale shadow of split skin filling with scarlet. Hesitantly, Misaki brings it to his mouth and licks it off, lips trembling with… he doesn’t know. Mouth filled with rust and copper coins. Shivers. Head thrumming with satisfaction.

Letting his own blood settle in his mouth, aftermath looms in his head. Akihiko would find it sooner rather than later. Maybe even his brother. His friends. It won’t be winter forever.

He thinks about how Akihiko will react once he notices, all the ways his face will contort and his eyes change size, moisture. What he’ll say and how he’ll say it. How he’ll hold Misaki close to his chest, pet his hair, kiss his forehead. How he won’t take the excuse of “I just wanted to, Usagi. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

He thinks of Akihiko grabbing his wrist there when they fuck, as he likes to do. Pressing on the scab. Holding him back.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://juroguro.tumblr.com/)


End file.
